A Question of Mortality
by ninqwestilmen
Summary: The Eldar are bound to Arda, fated to endure until the end of the world. For the Atani is the shorter life and the gift of Iluvatar. But what is the fate of one who knows not his path?
1. Chapter 1

A Question of Mortality

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Vast were the halls of Menegroth, the thousand caves. Deep were its woodlands, merry its waters beside glades of undying green. And nigh unto the stars was its joy sheltered by the Girdle of Melian. In the forests of Neldoreth, in a dell heavy with the sweet fragrance of flowers and light with the song of the dark Esgalduin, two lovers lay in the shadow of a great beech, its ancient arms reaching for the clouds. The fair maiden rested her head on her lover's chest, his arms wrapped around her light frame, ah, so contented was she. And he, so grateful that a maid as beautiful as she should give her heart to him. Yet he was troubled by what their love portended and in the dying heat of this spring afternoon, his heart was weary as he watched the sky darken.

"What thoughts grace thy mind?" she asked, breaking the silence of the woods.

As though out of a daze he started, then sighed, "Here my mother was born, and in this glade it was that my father courted her."

"It is right then," she smiled, "That Dior their son should court his lady here." Yet Nimloth saw that her smile did not reach him, grim his mood seemed as it had been often of late. She hesitated but then decided to uncork the bottle of emotions he so carefully concealed. "But Beren did not only court Lúthien," said she, "he came to Elu after. Five springs hath come and gone, this is the sixth, still thee beckon me here, but come not to my father."

"I would come, Nimloth," Dior said wearily, "Save that as all fathers, Galithil seeks the best for his child, and so I fear he may forbid me from seeing thee while I may, and that I could not bear."

Nimloth frowned slightly at that. "Why would he turn thee away? Thou art the son of Beren and Lúthien, heir of Elu, Prince of Doriath, fairest of the ellyn that still walk on this land."

"For I am Dior, and that may be reason enough."

"I understand thee not, beloved." Nimloth moved out of her lover's embrace and turned to face him. The concern in her eyes burned into Dior's soul and he looked away regretfully. Nimloth cupped his cheek with her white hand and turned him to face her again. "Hidest not from me Dior, but speak! Thy heart hath been burdened of late and a shadow sits upon thy brow. Speak thy woes to me, O Dior, for I am the daughter of Galithil and capable of giving thee right guidance. At the very least I may share thy burden with thee. Speak Dior and lighten thy heart."

Earnestly she looked upon him and Dior smiled at that, light filled his eyes again, if only for a moment. "Nimloth the Wise I should name thee, ever my pillar of strength art thou. Where didst thou learn such wisdom?"

"Not all wisdom is born through learning," she replied and her eyes were distant. "Much can be learned only through the passing of years, for such is the manner of the Eldar, to gather what knowledge we can through our long ages upon Arda."

"Thou hast spoken the truth, Nimloth," said Dior, "And now we come to the heart of the matter. Many years hath passed since thee were born and grown. I have seen but twenty summers, yet I am grown to full manhood, by the banks of the Esgalduin I hold thee in my arms. And those others who were born in my year are elflings yet, and play with their dolls and wooden swords in the halls of Menegroth. Didst thou ponder this?"

Nimloth was silent for she had not thought upon this, lost in the bliss of new love. Dior's fair face grew more troubled and he continued. "I grow not as do the children of the Eldar, Nimloth. Rather, I take after the folk of my father. Though I be the image of my mother in manhood, my heart is of the house of Bëor. And Nimloth, I fear that the fate of the Secondborn shall be mine."

Nimloth gasped, so stunned was she, her hands fell away from Dior and twisted in the folds of her gown. "But also of the deathless art thou," she insisted but not with the confidence she had hoped, "The blood of Lúthien and that of Elu and Melian flows in thy veins."

"Does it indeed?" he said softly. His gaze turned to the heavens, seeking the deepening twilight. "The fëa of Lúthien fled to the halls of waiting, and hence she was sent back, not with the life of the Eldar, but a mortal life. Though many years might pass, indeed she will embrace death and be lost to us forever, as will Beren. Why should their son, born of mortal bodies, expect any other? The blood of Melian thee say, yet by what foresight or foreboding that blood hath granted me, of this I am certain – I will not live forever!"

Tears filled Nimloth's eyes and threatened to break her resolve, and she saw that Dior's eyes were also damp as he sought out the stars of Elbereth. Suddenly he embraced her and in the shaking of his shoulders she knew that his deepest fear had engulfed him. She stroked his back in comfort as she sobbed with him.

Long they stayed so, until Nimloth steeled her nerve and conquering her tears she whispered, "Then the fate of Lúthien is also my fate, as she so have I chosen, both the sweet and the bitter. I choose one lifetime with thee rather than all the ages of Arda without."

Much it cost her to say so, and Dior knew it. He released her and eyes wet with tears he looked upon her fondly, a smile on his lips though his heart was yet clouded. "Bold are the daughters of the Sindar and steadfast in love, to twice accept such a fate."

"I deny not that I fear what is to come," she said, "Now that the unknown I hadst chosen, yet my fear would vanish if only I have thee by my side. I choose thee as my kindred above all others."

Dior smiled sadly as he stored her hair, soft as feathers and silver as the moon, "Yet what if that choice is not thine to make. A boon was granted to Lúthien, child of the Ainur; thou art wholly of the Eldar, bound to an immortal life and the grater bliss of the world. Short a time it would seem to thee though long it may take, and my mortal heart wouldst find no rest within Arda and accept at the last the gift of the Atani. And thou wouldst return to the ancient land of thy people and find no healing therein."

"Nay, for if the choice is not mine, then until the end of the world I shall remain in the halls of waiting, pleading for thee as did Lúthien, until that day when the world is remade and I can see thee again."

"Nay, not so self conceited am I Nimloth," Dior said sadly, and his fair face was darkened, "Not to such a dire fate will I resign thee, for this shall be thy fate if thou cleavest to me. Rather I would have thee find bliss with another, and watch thee from afar though it shatter my heart."

"There is no joy for me without thee, Dior." Nimloth said fervently. "My heart is thine, it is already given, it changes not as the seasons. Nor is blame in your part, for my heart I gave freely, and full knowing I accept this fate. For if not thee, then for me there is no other and dire still would be my fate if thou shouldest only watch from a distance."

"Then all is dark for thee since the day I first spied thee by the meres of Aelin-uial. I wished not to bring such woe to the one I love." His despair deepened as the the murky sky, darkness only he saw and no respite. What could he do? There seemed no escape from this lonely doom for fair Nimloth.

"But listen!" said she, for as lightening upon a tree she was struck with a thought, "Thou art equally of the Eldar and the Atani, and as Lúthien, in thee also is the spirit of the Ainur. It may be that the choice is granted to thee, or it may be that for thee is the best of both kindred. It may be that thou art granted an ageless life but with the gift to escape should thy heart grow weary. And that day, Beloved, shall come not for I shall be by thy side."

Dior's grey eyes twinkled and his face brightened as the sun. "Thy words give me hope, daughter of Galithil. What shall be for me? Life of the Eldar, bound to the ebbs and tides of Arda, or that of the Atani, short and brief as the spark of a flame. Or some measure of both." The sky was dark now but the stars shone bright, and trust of Ilúvatar he felt in his heart. "No more shall I ponder my fate, for this I know - thee I choose - let the years bring what they bring, I would face it steadily still if thou wouldst have me, Nimloth, Lady fair and wise and full of hope."

He grasped her hand to his heart and their grey eyes met. And Nimloth looked upon him with love, "I would have thee, Dior the beautiful, and I would be glad though death embrace us in the end."

And they kissed under the shadows of the night, and beneath the moonlight they plighted their troth and were content.


	2. Author Notes

**Author Notes**

Lúthien was the first of her kind, the half-elven. But though her parents be of different races, they were both immortal, and so her true race is never pondered upon. In her descriptions there is an ethereal beauty and magic, greater than any other elf in the stories. She may appear elvish, but she is greater than elf-kind, perhaps more Ainu through her mother's heritage. Had she not met Beren and played out their destiny, would she be granted a choice of different flavor? Would that choice matter at all?

Anyway, fate played out and presented Dior with a unique dilemma. He was half-elven and each part of his blood had diagonally distinct places in the Ilúvatar's plan. Years after his death, it would be known that the choice of Lúthien carried down to all her descendants. But Dior's life was spent in a state of limbo, not knowing and only guessing which kindred he would stand among. Perhaps he was content to remain in this twilight, so I have had him foresee his own death, and that raises more questions for him than answers.

Oh, and Dior is perhaps naïve to think that he could have the best of both kindred - something that led to the ruin of Númenor - but he's only hoping for the best in bleak circumstances. It seems natural that he would be enamored of immortality.

The vow of Nimrodel is taken from Arwens words to Frodo at their parting - _'A gift I will give you. For I am the daughter of Elrond. I shall not go with him now when he departs to the Havens; for mine is the choice of Luthien, and as she so have I chosen, both the sweet and the bitter. But in my stead you shall go, Ring-bearer, when the time comes, and if you then desire it.'_


End file.
